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Its a question I'm asking myself as the seasons are changing. So recently it was summer and now winter is knocking at the door. I want everything to slow down. Soon it will be time for exams, and time to think about my future in school (Yeah that's right I'm a little behind by.. two years). I'll be applying to places, and for scholarships (that is if my grades are any good). I still don't know what I'm going to do. But more and more I feel the pressure to get out of here. It started with my plan to visit my friend in Germany and has ended up with thoughts of leaving home for school (elsewhere in the province or country). It was only a month ago that I would have told people that I'm completely satisfied to stay at home for school. But not only would that get stale with them (parents) always needing to know where I am and when. Home, and dependence has just lost its appeal. Over the summer I made giant leaps. I tried new things in an attempt to define myself, and I'm finding myself satisfied to be who I am where I am and to continue on this journey of discovery and experimentation. This sounds like sex or drugs or something, but whatever, why should I change what I'm writing, to satisfy those who might stumble upon this? No. I'm okay with the way its written, straight from my mind, no stumbling, no edits, no nothing. Here's a poem I wrote "The Autumn Wind":

An Autumn wind blows with grand elation,
Full of new scents and sensation.
It starts off briskly with a chill,
And takes a peak with a thrill,
Damp leaves, and frosty leads,
Fresh gourds and pumpkin seeds
It takes a twist and a turn,
Where to go? It can't discern,
Headed in all ways at once,
Full of energy it runs,
Like a dream, not sure where,
Towards, some goal, without a care.
Moved forward by the coming freeze,
Saddened by the falling trees.
An Autumn wind blows without direction,
It only knows it seeks perfection.

My inspiration for this, is a long story. Well not particularly long, just dull, and long-winded. Its a story that includes 3 out of 4 of the public schools I grew up in and countless places I called home as a child. Its the story of me and every other average suburban teenager who has lived in the same place their entire life. Dressed as a zombie (weird I know) I somehow passed by and relived some of the most defining and changing moments of my life. Exploring under the stars, I discovered the playground of the school I spent 5 dedicated years working and playing. It was the most surreal thing to be back there 7 years ago under the light of the moon reliving the memories of a first grader, second grader, third, fourth and fifth. If I could have stayed there all my life I would have, because I grew there and changed there, and became the person I am today there. Some people may forget their old public school, but it is the most amazing thing to be back there, seeing first hand how much I have changed. It was one of the most eye-opening, experiences life has offered me, and it was all inside my own mind, my memories. That's my inspiration, for the poem. Its my journey, through life, and my favourite season, autumn. The season I live for, its a season full of fun, love and hard work. The weather ranges from beautiful to horrid, and autumn sees the most drastic but beautiful change. Maybe its my liberal roots, favouring change, truth and beauty. Or maybe it's just how I grew up. All I know is I love it. At the start I said I wanted everything to slow down, but even as I typed it, I knew it wasn't true at all. This is the way I want it. And also, I do want home, but home is not a building, or a place, home is an emotion, and a state of mind. I'm at home.

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