What is the Party Prophet? The Party Prophet is that guy or girl at a party who thinks they know everything. That person who grabs everyone's attention with their stories. They are that person who everyone is drawn to because they know just what to say to satisfy each individual interest in the room. The Party Prophet is the epitome of charisma. But a small minority of people see through the Party Prophet.
Some of us can see that the Party Prophet knows no more and is no wiser than his drunken disciples. In fact, most of what he says, he makes up on the spot. NASA is not actually designing a weapon capable of blowing up the moon, the Chinese government is not actually putting lead into childrens' toys for world export in order to make America's next generation more stupid, and Elvis Presley is not actually living in Tom Cruise's basement. The Party Prophet's knowledge is just the same as party magic. It is not a gift from god but smoke and mirrors and trickery.
The Party Prophet is not to be disrespected though, because he provides entertainment, and a sense of superiority to his disciples, like they've just come to realize something no one else in the world can know. It's conspiracy, entertainment and politics that drives the Party Prophet and leads his Foolish Followers from darkness to "enlightenment."
The Party Prophet walks among us all. They come and go, and always have something to say, they know when to speak, and when to reserve themselves. They know when to argue and fight and when to enlighten. Whatever they say, people are listening, it is the doctrine of the prophet. We all know them we just never had a name for them. Are you the Party Prophet?
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